Running in Circles

I'm no writer ,so even at the best of times I have problems getting how I think and feel down on paper. I really don't want to turn it into a serious of emo like whines ...I'd much rather have rants cause at least they have some comedic appeal at times. But this one will be a bit of a whine or keyboard gushing at least.

I have a major fear of losing people from my life especially ones I care about. So what do I do when I feel I am losing one of my best friends? At the moment nothing . Maybe everyone is right a girl can't have a male best friend ....but they normally don't mean it in this sense. I mean there is no tension or feelings between us, so that should be wonderful right. To be as close as we are ...I mean were.. and not want anything more is/was fantastic. But now I'm losing him ...maybe it's just temporarly ,maybe he will snap out of it. Maybe it's partially my fault ...I did kinda stop telling him as much . But I've stopped telling people lots of stuff... I find whining a very unattractive quality in a person however, I do understand that a good whine every now and again is necessary.
I remember one time, when one of my friend was on his usual " my life is the worst life anyone could possibly have ...I'm going insane rants" (of course his life isn't really that bad at all he is just over dramatic) , and I said to him ,"have you got all your limbs?....is anyone dead or homeless?". Of course the answer was no and so I said "well then look on the bright side and stop treating the smallest of things like mount fucking everest". So *checks limbs* ..yes all accounted for..so should I be whining to anyone no?...but if someone is willing to read all this then they are welcome.:P
This whining may have been spurned by a series of sad music videos with ff clips:P. But it has been an issue in my mind for a while now:/ ...I always say relationships are fleeting but true friends will always be there and I meant him too. My other best friend (the three of us called ourself the triforce but lets explain that another time) doesn't even seem to care that much about it but I guess as we have each another that's all that matters. OK y'know what time for some positives...:P(if you made it this far without wanting to slap my whining face congrats^^)

Despite what the rant suggests i'm actually really happy these days:P. I realised a little while ago that I let too many small things bring me down ( like the aforementioned drama queen) and spent too much time bitching to other people about them. I'm a very lucky person really... I have an amazing family and amazing friends. I love my uni and my work ...I could program forever if you let me:P. So what if i'm a little crazy and socially awkward ..somehow I make new friends and get out the house:P.

Thanks for reading if you made it this far :D
ja ne xxx